'He gave her a receipt for a donation of $3 million': Father withholds money from one of his twin daughters after she takes a stand about her wedding

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Aug 28, 2023 5:00 PM EDT

No one can agree if this father is doing the right thing with his vast fortune. One of his 36 year old daughters went to r/AmItheA****** to ask commenters for their opinions, but even they had a variety of differing opinions. 

U/AITA_daddysgirl lived up to her username with this story. She and her twin sister are both "stereotypical daddy's girl[s]," but the OP has a good relationship with her dad, and doesn't find him overbearing. Instead, he spoils her and her siblings — plus his grandkids. However, this dad has a hangup about one particular argument with his other twin daughter, who feels really strongly about the role her dad should be playing in her life. 

Mixing financial issues with family drama isn't a good idea at the best of times, and this family has millions of dollars to spread around. So the issue isn't even just that this dad is keeping his money from his kid. He's literally giving millions away in to charity, making it even harder for her to be upset. 

Scroll down below to read this entire saga, and try to decide for yourself who's wrong, Dad or daughter (or everyone!). Then, this squadron of interns took it upon themselves to call up a crabby older doctor 30-50 times a day — all because he told them to. 

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  • 01
    Sky - 'If you don't want me to act like your father in a traditional way, won't'
    via Vadim Sherbakov on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - AITA for not sharing my kid's college funds with my sister kids? Me(36F) and my twin sister Amanda(36F) were the stereotypical daddy's girl, we were very attached to our dad, he was a "super dad" (the most present dad possible without being controlling or annoying). Dad's family came from old-money, he is filthy- rich(close to billions). Growing up he spoiled me, Amanda, and my two other brothers a lot, we came from a VERY privileged family.
    via u/AITA_daddysgirl
  • 03
    Font - One thing about dad is that he really loves weddings, he is a bit of a romantic and very traditional in that sense, and growing up we always remember him saying that "he couldn't wait for the day to walk down his little princesses down the aisle" it was a pretty huge thing for him. When my older brother (41M) got married on his one year anniversary in 2011 dad gave him a house as a wedding anniversary gift, it was a pretty huge and expensive house (close to $3million) and started a tradit
    via u/AITA_daddysgirl
  • 04
    Font - When Amy got engaged dad was really excited too, one week before the wedding Amy drops the bomb, she was going to walk down the aisle alone, dad was really sad with this whole thing but she said that "she wasn't anyone property to be given away"," that she was independent grown-a woman"(true, she is more independent than I will ever be), "that this was a misogynistic tradition that she wouldn't want to participate in", despite dad begging her she didn't kneel, dad paid for the whole weddi
    via u/AITA_daddysgirl
  • 05
    Font - Skip to one year after the wedding, dad didn't give Amy anything, when she confronted him about it he gave her a receipt for a donation of $3 million to the National Women's Law Center (Amy is a lawyer) in her name she tried to argue but couldn't really say anything. When my and my other brother's kids were born dad started a college fund for each one of them (it's supposed to achieve $2million when they reach 18), last week Amy discovered about the funds and ask dad about it (she has 3 k
    via u/AITA_daddysgirl
  • 06
    Font - our dad and they currently not speaking right now, she asked us (me and our other brothers) to share our kid's college fund with her kids because "dad is a mean CU and is punishing her kids", we refused because it's not like our kids are getting the money that was supposed to go to her kids, she is giving us the silent treatment since them. I'm having doubts right now Reddit, AITA here?
    via u/AITA_daddysgirl
  • 07
    Font - Spartakooty1971 S2 Can I be your dad's next daughter? Seriously, I will walk down any aisle in a white dress with him, and I'm a dude. Not that there's anything wrong with that. 6.7k Share AITA_daddysgirl OP. He is a pretty great dad, but i don't think he is accepting new children, haha.
    via u/Spartakooty1971
  • 08
    Product - lotty115 But a cr granddad if he's going to punish his grandkids for a choice their mother made. 2.4k Share
    via u/lotty115
  • 09
    Font - trippygg Man talk about malicious compliance ΝΤΑ
    via u/trippygg
  • 10
    Font - upthecreekwthnocanoe NTA for not wanting to share your kids funds, but YWBTA if you didn't have a chat with your dad and ask if he's being short sighted punishing his grandkids for their mother's choices. It's very vindictive, and he's made a choice to do that.
    via u/upthecreekwthnocanoe
  • 11
    Font - What if something happened to their dad and they wanted the next best thing (grandad) to walk them down the aisle? Your dad's basically saying he views the innocent kids differently which means he's causing the damage with the grandkids all by himself. They will know they're seen as less, and he's hoping this'll cause friction with their mother (bc he reckons they'll blame her) bc he can't get over the aisle thing. Which in my mind is stupid, he could've had the dance and speeches etc ins
    via u/upthecreekwthnocanoe
  • 12
    Font - GenerallyIllInformed NTA. Her kids aren't entitled to money, your dad can give to whomever he wishes.
    via u/GenerallyIllInformed
  • 13
    Font - crazycurlymessssss. While a bit petty you are NTA. She got what she asked for. You can't stress your independence and then expect hand out.
    via u/crazycurlymessssss
  • 14
    Font - o lexisplays NTA. You and your siblings are not obligated to share, BUT it would be nice if you did. However she is right, your dad is being a petty jerk. Getting walked down the aisle is a very personal choice as for some people it does have strong connotations of being given away like property, where as the father/daughter dance is a celebration of the relationship. And it was cruel of your father to reject dancing with her.
    via u/lexisplays
  • 15
    Font - Also your dad's hypocrisy is outstanding as he did not walk your brothers down the aisle, the mental backflips he must be doing to justify his childish behavior. Edit: OP pointed out her father walked her older brother's fiancee down the aisle, but the younger brother and his fiance walked themselves down. OP clarified all kids except sister walked down aisle with dad. Dad is still in the wrong. The only spoiled one here is your father.
    via u/lexisplays
  • 16
    Font - AITA_daddysgirl OP. He did walk my older brother fiancée (now wife) down the aisle, her dad died when she was a teen and my brother was dating her since highschool, so he is pretty much a father to her and until this day they remain really close. My younger brother is gay and he walked with his husband down the aisle together.
    via u/AITA_daddysgirl
  • 17
    Font - finny_d420 Enthusias... A: It's still a petty thing for him to still be ped about. He should've been proud that he raised a strong independent minded woman who chose to not follow a patriarchal tradition. If she had chosen to not get married and still have kids would he still be a close minded a? It's not like she didn't invite him at all.
    via u/finny_d420
  • 18
    Font - AITA_daddysgirl OP Oh i know that he being very petty. I don't think he would be close minded he is very open minded actually, It is just that wedding's are his thing. In his words he is "actually making sure she is as independent as possible".
    via u/AITA_daddysgirl
  • 19
    Font - Maximum_System_ 7819 He's not that open-minded if he took that so personally and is still paying her back for it. Why was it ok for your younger brother to choose his own tradition but not his daughter?
    via u/Maximum_System_ 7819
  • 20
    Font - Caribouhou Parta pant [1] NTA, but are you and your brother going stay be quiet about your father being an a He's punishing his grandchildren over something so petty. I imagine it's not the only time he's been incredibly petty, either. ?
    via u/Caribouhou
  • 21
    Font - Crazyboutdogs Partas ant [2] ESH- your dad is a petty He is punishing a his grandkids for a decision their mom made. Her decision was reasonable and actually pretty common in today's world. So he sucks. Your sister is acting entitled to his money. She is not. But I get her hurt about this very long term punishment for something petty.
    via u/Crazyboutdogs
  • 22
    Font - You suck because NO child needs 2 million for college. Splitting some of your kids funds with their cousins would in NO way affect their ability to go to the best schools available. So while you may legally be in the "right" you are being an as and greedy. It's your twin sister. Helping won't hurt your kids. But may help hers.
    via u/Crazyboutdogs
  • 23
    Font - Pistalrose Certified Proctologist [21] News flash - your dad is controlling. He decided one disapproved action of your sister's (one his sons don't have to meet) is adequate to financially punish her for life. Plus her kids, his grandkids. His money, sure. Still an АН. Don't think you're the AH though. I'm guessing your sister makes a decent living and lots of kids get through college without an education fund. You don't owe her.
    via u/Pistalrose

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Tags

family drama dad family dads aita sisters grandfather wedding wealthy Grandpa grandparents twins sister money Father
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